The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference. I was thinking yesterday about how love can change. Some of my SL friends are or have been trapped in relationships full of volatility, infidelity and game playing. What I realized is that when their partner treats them badly it confirms something that they secretly believe to be true: that they are, in fact, fundamentally unloveable. One might ask, why be with someone who treats you badly? I suppose they stay because they crave a return to the times when he treated them well; in those moments they were able to believe that they were lovable, that someone saw them in their entirety and still chose to love them. They need to feel that way, and *he* made them feel that way, albeit briefly. At some point, the relationship cracks wide open. One or the other leaves, angry words are exchanged, and love turns to hate. But as long as there’s hate, a relationship still exists. (To my friend I say, give it time, give it time. You will heal.)

As for me, I’ve been fortunate; I’m on good terms with almost all of my exes. And I’ll always feel love for them. The random bad guy who potentially managed to slip by my radar once upon a time? For him, I feel nothing. Indifference. Ice.

As ever, I fly towards the sunshine of a warm, welcoming heart.

Hair: Truth — Odette — Champagne
Skin: Laq — Vilda Fair Glow Skin 05 (blonde)
Eyes: Ibanez — Tranquil Eyes — Allure
Prim Lashes: Glam Affair — Regina 02
Tattoo Makeup: Mock — Makeover — Strawberries and Champagne (eye/lip)

Top: Peqe (at Chic Limited) — Kate Glitter — Water **NEW**
Pants: Peque (at Chic Limited) — Kate Leather Hight Tights — Noir **NEW**
Boots: Slink — Whitney — Black **NEW**
Jewelry: Mood — Alkahi Dew in Gold

Pose: Hela Miyo (at Chic Limited) — Air 1 **NEW**

  1. #1 by Truth on March 14, 2011 - 2:15 am

    Well put, Ocean.

    I do not see love as one half of a pair of polar opposites. For me, love has no opposite: love just is. I see hate as feelings in the complete absence of love–perhaps our base, instinctual nature. Finally, I see indifference is as no feeling at all. For me, indifference is a mystery: does it mean we have been cut off from the source of love (i.e., the heart) or is it really possible for something that just is to no longer be. I may never understand.

    – Truth

    • #2 by Ocean Wade on March 14, 2011 - 2:45 pm

      My thoughts on indifference came to me as I was listening to a friend talk about her ex. She kept saying ‘I hate him,’ and as she said it I thought, as long as she continues to have such strong feelings for him–whatever they are–it’s not ‘over,’ at least for her. I’d disagree with your statement that ‘love just is.’ It doesn’t have an independent existence; and it isn’t static. It’s born from a bond between two people. It grows and deepens when nurtured. If it’s ignored or befouled, it dies. But, it is by its nature, a deep and strong feeling, and if it has an opposite, that would be a complete lack of feeling. And yes, it happens.

  2. #3 by LisaMun Aronowicz on March 14, 2011 - 2:41 am

    Love your outfit! And what a great read! I agree with you, indifference is the opposite of love, and to feel nothing is far worse. *big hugsss*

    • #4 by Ocean Wade on March 14, 2011 - 2:50 pm

      Thank you, Lisa! I think it’s fine to feel indifferent towards some people. I mean, *some* people deserve it, right? *winks* But yes, important that the heart continue to be capable of love.

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