The opposite of love isn’t hate. It’s indifference. I was thinking yesterday about how love can change. Some of my SL friends are or have been trapped in relationships full of volatility, infidelity and game playing. What I realized is that when their partner treats them badly it confirms something that they secretly believe to be true: that they are, in fact, fundamentally unloveable. One might ask, why be with someone who treats you badly? I suppose they stay because they crave a return to the times when he treated them well; in those moments they were able to believe that they were lovable, that someone saw them in their entirety and still chose to love them. They need to feel that way, and *he* made them feel that way, albeit briefly. At some point, the relationship cracks wide open. One or the other leaves, angry words are exchanged, and love turns to hate. But as long as there’s hate, a relationship still exists. (To my friend I say, give it time, give it time. You will heal.)
As for me, I’ve been fortunate; I’m on good terms with almost all of my exes. And I’ll always feel love for them. The random bad guy who potentially managed to slip by my radar once upon a time? For him, I feel nothing. Indifference. Ice.
As ever, I fly towards the sunshine of a warm, welcoming heart.
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